There once lived a lorry driver who had a pregnant wife. As she worked in their tiny kitchen making casserole sauce, she put herself on Maternity Leave, to the annoyance of her husband. At the end of a shift he would return home and complain that there was no sauce for dinner. She protested that she was on Maternity Leave, so couldn’t make sauce as she couldn’t work.
This sparring went on for weeks until the wife could take no more.
The husband returned home one night and wandered into the kitchen. As usual, the cupboards were bare. He turned to his wife, who stood waiting, and began to complain. With one hand, she grasped his tongue, and with the other, struck the pink slimy thing with a rolling pin once. Twice. Three times… Four times… Repeatedly until the pink fat of his tongue rolled from his mouth like tagliatelle.
And he never moaned again.